I’ve had this dream from the beginning 

I keep dreaming about it every night 

The dream goes like this:

Im a cave woman and you bring me a lion cub 

I am this colony’s high priestess 

I should kill the lion cub 

But its eyes look into mine and I feel its warm fur 

I can't kill it 

The crops of wheat don't grow for three summers 

The whole colony dies 

then I wake up and Im a 6 year old girl 

Tomorrow is my last day of preschool 

They are going to test me. If I pass the exam I start school a year younger 

It's my sole mission to pass the exam. I obsess over it. Every few minutes I ask my mother about it 

She tells me it's like play time don't worry baby 

I worry. 

It's the day of the exam. I fail the exam. One more year of preschool. I am so so so dumb and mommy is mad      Didn't I tell you it's easy ?! 

The next moment I feel water on my skin. It's cold. I touch the chunks of ice with my fingers 

I feel something pulling me down

There is a bag of stones tied to my feet. Who did this to me????!!!!! It doesn't matter who did it 

I feel like everyone has a right to do it. I feel like I've wronged everyone from the beginning. Everything I do is so wrong yet I keep doing it flawlessly. Yes I’ve been told before I'm a perfectionist

Yes I’ve been told it's better done poorly than not at all. I can't do it poorly. I have to be perfect I have to be perfect I have to be perfect.

The cold water is comforting. I gasp for air and it drowns me. I wake up.

Did you know I finished top of my class?